Anger, Fear and Loneliness
When women enter the 50+ side of life there is a period of loneliness. They begin to reflect on their lives searching for the right path to go forward in a positive way. Some women begin to let go of responsibilities that no longer pertain to that path:
- Children are raised and are now young adults.
- Household chores don’t seem quite as important anymore.
- In some cases, they detach from a relationship that weighs them down and makes them unhappy.
These women begin to find themselves feeling a bit freer, lighter. They begin to focus on more pleasurable activities or even traveling to places they have dreamed of for many years.
On the other hand, some women find that letting go makes them anxious and depressed. They fear all the changes that aging brings. They tend to:
- Feel the need to hang on tightly to what is familiar
- Become angry because their life is changing; like it or not
- Become afraid of loosing themselves entirely
- Shy away from independence, especially if they have been in dependent relationships most of their lives.
After middle-aged women go through this loneliness phase they start to accept the changes going on in their lives. Once accepted, they can begin to reinvent themselves feeling confident and independent. It’s not an easy transition for any woman but once you get on the good side of reinvention life becomes a magical place.
My own reinvention process wasn’t an easy one. I became angry, afraid and felt lost. When I finally accepted the changes that aging brings I realized that reinventing ourselves happens throughout our entire life. Life is ever evolving and we must evolve with it in order to embrace all the blessings that life has to give. Waking up a middle-aged woman I didn’t know was my greatest reinvention yet. However, it was necessary in order to live the remainder of my life filled with intention and purpose. My greatest motivators.
I knew the first step was to get to know this middle-aged woman and make friends with her. That’s were I developed the The Best 4 Emotions That Makes A Woman Feel Attractive philosophy:
- Sense of Self
- Being Unapologetically Yourself
- Finding Importance in Healthy Lifestyle Changes
After working through these emotions I realized I was never lost. I know who this middle-aged woman is. She is a better version of the younger me. The internal younger me kicked her heels up and said “Yes, I’m still here. You never lost me.” I was ready to take on the world again. Ready to live with purpose and intention.
My first stop was going back to work. I loved working for myself, the freedom to create my own schedule, to travel if I wanted or just the satisfaction of being truly independent. I was truly blessed with the ability to become a housewife while I was going through menopause but I have had enough of that. I’m not built to be a housewife. It’s simply not in my DNA!
I started looking at available jobs to see if I could find a good fit for me but what I found was disturbing. Since the Recession of 2008, corporations and businesses trying to survive in the economic climate started terminating midlife employees close to retirement and those whose health was declining in order to brighten their bottom line. They started focusing on hiring younger, less experienced employees who were trainable and required less in the form of salary and benefits. The Midlifers found that their 30 year career had abruptly ended leaving them with nowhere to go. Midlifers became a liability while young adults became assets. In fact, after interviewing women in the 50+ category I found that to this day jobs for us are far and few between. Employers just don’t like to hire “liabilities.” It’s very sad but very true.
You may also be interested in reading Do You Know the Truth About Ageism and Women?
I knew that going to a regular 9 to 5 job was not in my constitution just as much as becoming the proverbial Walmart Greeter. Going back to college to start a new career in a 9 to 5 job I wasn’t going to like also was not an option. What to do, what to do? I knew the answer … live life with intention and purpose.
I started my own business once before why couldn’t I start one again? That’s where I decided I would fulfill a life long yearning to become a writer. I could use my words with intention and purpose to touch the lives of others in a positive way. I would embark on a new journey that started with the desire to write. And writing I am!
If you’re a Midlife woman finding yourself at the point of reinvention dig deep into what makes you happy. What hobbies have you had that make you want to wake up in the morning? What hobbies drive your passion? How can you turn these hobbies into a profitable business?
Maybe you find yourself with a multitude of health concerns that restricts the things you can do. Ladies, this is the 21st Century. All you need is a computer, an internet provider and some gumption and you can achieve any hurdle life throws at you. We are at the point in our lives that we are stronger and wiser than our younger selves.
Use your past career expertise, your desirable hobby and merge them into a new career. A career that will fill you with intention and purpose during this second phase of life.
I have a few examples that might be helpful:
- Do you like gardening? Are you one of those lucky people who are actually good at it? Start a gardening class. Teach gardening to those who have the passion to learn. You can easily accomplish this both online and offline.
- Are you a retired teacher? Do you still love teaching? How about tutor children who need the extra attention to succeed in their academic careers.
- Is being a Potter your passion? Sell your masterpieces at local farmer’s markets or flea markets. Open up an online venue to showcase your work and offer pieces for sale.
- How about a bookkeeper? Do you still love crunching numbers but hate the hours involved in working for an organization. Why not start your own part-time bookkeeping business.
- Maybe you’re a green living advocate such as myself. Have you discovered the art of bee keeping? For me, this would be a win win all around. Bee keepers help the environment. You harvest your own honey and sell it at local farmer’s markets and/or in the little mom and pop stores. You can even go so far as to invite school aged children for a visit to teach them the importance of bees up close and personal.
I could probably come up with a thousand other hobby turned business ideas. The most important thing to remember is make it something you want to wake up in the morning for, make it something that has intent and purpose and most of all make a difference in other people’s lives.
The Corporations might think that MidLife Women no longer have a viable purpose in their business strategy. But, this world still needs the vision of the wise and strong Matriarch. We have so much yet to give this world. So much to teach. So many stories to tell.
We have too much more to offer to lay it all down and sit in a rocker. We are the NEW Midlife Women!
What has been your biggest Midlife challenge?
See you in the comments,